She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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