a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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