that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
