bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
