Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
