at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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