you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
