Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
