Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you made out with another girl for some wings
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
