So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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