i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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