so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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