I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize