idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
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i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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