I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there's paper in my vomit.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
