I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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