Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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