I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize