Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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