I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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