We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Everclear isn't food dammit
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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