I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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