Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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