I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
