How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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