Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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