My first STD was from a foam party
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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