When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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