Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
