like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's shark week go big or go home
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