I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
