You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
