Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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