I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
