I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
