The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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