If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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