just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
