On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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