He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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