the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Everything about him screamed your future.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
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He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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