I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
