You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
