If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
