just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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