Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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