Life is so much better after having sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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