for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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