is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need a burrito and a hug.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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