We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
