And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
