good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
