great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
