the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Even my vagina gasped.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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