You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
