hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
